Things a Denver Realtor Struggles to Keep Her Mouth Shut About

Clients say a lot of things during a real estate transaction. Here's what a Denver realtor is actually thinking when she hears them.

"My parents are coming to the inspection."

I love a good challenge. I do not love trying to figure out whose opinion actually matters when there are five of them in the room and only one name on the contract.

"Realtors make too much commission for the work they do."

You're not paying me for the hour I spend at a showing. You're paying for the 13-plus years it took me to know what to do in that hour. Nobody asks a surgeon to itemize their hourly rate either.

"We're not negotiating on inspection." (said by a seller, in a buyer's market)

Sure. I'll just let that sit until the inspection comes back and you realize the leak you "weren't negotiating on" is the reason nobody else wants your house either. Let's talk in real time and save you money in the end.

"We don't need to stage, the updates speak for themselves."

You're right! Your updates are awesome!! Fun fact though... staged homes sell for more, more buyers. Also, I pay for it. So it really is the only thing speaking for itself here is my staging budget.

"I asked AI how I should negotiate this."

Love good feedback. Genuinely. But negotiation is not a script, it's reading a seller's motivation, finances, and emotions in real time. I promise I've got this one.

"Can you call me back right now, it's 10:30pm."

I will absolutely call you back. Tomorrow. Because right now I am asleep like a normal single income household mom of two and husband snoring next to me. And nothing we talk about right now will impact the situation.

"The job looks like open houses and cute listing photos."

You're welcome, for making it look like that. It is actually equal parts therapist, translator, and the highly adept woman in the room reminding everyone to breathe.

Save this for the next time you wonder what your realtor is really thinking.